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Wedding Customs & Traditions
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Have you ever wondered where all the things people do during a wedding comes from. Here are your answers. Some of the traditions come from our European Ancestors dating hundreds of years ago.
The Engagement Ring
The engagement ring is a promise of marriage. During the Roman era, the
man had to "barter" for his
future bride. The engagement ring was security for the "betrothed". As time went
on, men presented diamond rings to future brides because a ring containing
diamonds was considered more valuable than a plain gold band. Thus, it is a
stronger promise and offers more security.
The Bachelor Party
This was the last chance before his new wife took over the finances, for the groom to gather money by gambling for his own future use.
The Bridal Shower
This custom came about when a father disapproved of his daughter's marriage and refused to provide a dowry to the couple. The "shower" became the alternative to the dowry. Supportive villagers would assemble and provide the bride with a variety of household items for her new home.
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Bridal Party and Best Man
This tradition comes from the days of the warring tribes in Europe. When a bride was to be married there was always assumed that there was a secret suitor hiding close by. The Best man along with the groom who's right hand was free would fight off the intruder. The women would all wear the same dress color in order to confuse the intruder as to which one was the bride. It was also written that in some cases the bride would not be standing next to the groom in order to further confuse the intruder. It was later on that the brides would wear white. The same thing went for the groom. In some cases he would be standing next to the best man so that the intruder would not know who the groom was in order to prevent him from being killed in the attack. Like the women they also wore the same garments.
The Dowry, Hope Chest, and Trousseau
There was a time when
marriage would include some exchange of property between the families of
the bride and groom. The groom's family would pay a price to the bride's family
for the bride. The bride's family in turn, would provide the couple with a dowry
of various household items for their new home. As a bride planned for her
future marriage, she would supplement this dowry with her own items that she
collected or made (i.e. embroidered linens.) All items would be kept in a
special "hope chest", built by the bride's father for the purpose of holding the
dowry.
The Trousseau included all the clothing and property which a bride brought with
her to the marriage. Today, the trousseau
includes all wedding and shower gifts as well as new purchases.
Wedding Banns
This is an announcement of an impending wedding in the Catholic Church. This announcement usually takes place for three consecutive Sundays. Its purpose is to inform the public with enough notice of the pending wedding so if anyone objected to the marriage, they could do so.
The Wedding Ring
Since the beginning of time, the wedding ring has been a symbol representing a promise for eternal and everlasting love and the uniting together of the bride and groom. The precious metals show that love is the most precious possession and the unending circle symbolizes a love that may never end. It is placed on the fourth finger of the left hand because it was traditionally believed that this finger was a direct connection to the heart - the perfect place to place a symbol, representing eternal love and commitment.
The Bridal Gown
There was a time when the bride would wear her favorite dress to the ceremony. In 1840, Queen Victoria wore an elegant all white gown to her wedding. She started a fashion trend which quickly caught on and continues to this day. White was worn because people believed it represented affluence, virginity, and purity.
The Bridal Veil
Traditionally, the bridal veil was a symbol of modesty, respect and virginity.
The veil served as a reminder to all witnessing the ceremony that the physical
relationship was entered into only after the vows were exchanged and the
marriage became official with the seal of a kiss. The veil was removed after the
vows were exchanged and the couple was pronounced MAN & WIFE.
Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue
Each part of this saying holds some form of traditional significance. The old
and new items represent the passage from the
single status to the married status. The borrowed item represents the
participation and approval of the wedding by family, friends and the community.
Something blue is a symbol of purity, love and fidelity. In England, this saying
goes on further to include "and a lucky sixpence in your shoe" which brides
there still do.
The Bridal Bouquet
Flowers were incorporated into the ceremony because they represent fertility,
purity, new life and never ending love.
Traditionally, bouquets were a mixture of flowers and herbs. Dill was a very
popular choice as an herb because it was believed to promote lust. Following the
ceremony, the dill was eaten for that purpose.
Seating Guests and Family
Traditionally, the bride's family and friends are seated on the left side, the
groom's on the right side. The Groomsmen may or may not escort them to their
seats, however, the grandparents, and parents are escorted in and the last to be
seated in the front rows.
Child Attendants
Children were originally included in the ceremony as a symbol of innocence.
White Aisle Runner
The white aisle runner symbolizes God's holiness and walking on holy ground. It
is believed that marriage is not just between two individuals but includes the
presence of God who is actively involved in the marriage ceremony.
Processional
The Minister/Officiant and the Groom are first. Traditionally, the Groom will
stand to the left next to the
Minister/Officiant (facing family and friends) until the Bride arrives. Next,
the Bride's Maids and Groomsmen (Bride's Maids on the left arm of the
Groomsmen). Then the Maid or Matron of Honor on the left arm of the Best Man.
Followed by the Flower Girl and/or Ring Bearer. And finally, the Bride and her
Father or whom ever is giving her away. Again, the Bride on the left arm of that
person. That person should remain standing next to the Bride until the Bride is
officially "given away" or presented to the Groom. Then he/she should be seated
in the front row with his/her family. NOTE: Should
the ceremony site not have a center isle, the processional enters from the left
isle and exits from the right isle.
Throwing Rose Petals
The ritual of throwing rose petals before the bride as she walks down the isle
was to ward off evil spirits below the ground
and to grant fertility.
Father Giving the Bride Away
This custom originally had its roots in arranged marriages where the
bride was considered property. Later, this custom persisted as a symbol with two
meanings.
Altar Positioning
This tradition dates back to the time when marriage might take place by
capture. By having the bride stand to the grooms left, the groom would have his
right hand free for his sword if he needed it for defense. Also, it is customary
for the Minister/Officiant to face the family and guests, however, the ceremony
can be performed with the Bride and Groom facing family and guests if preferred.
Huppah
In the Jewish religion, the ceremony takes place as the couple stands
under the ornamental canopy. This canopy symbolizes the nomadic tents of Israel
and the new home that the couple will soon share.
Groom Entering The Church First And Exchanging Vows First
Both of these customs signify that the
groom is the covenant initiator. Because he is the initiator, he is the first to
state his vow of marriage. As the initiator, the groom also assumes the greatest
responsibility in the marriage.
Taking Each Other's Right Hand
The open right hand is a symbol of strength, resource and purpose. The
coming together of both right hands is a symbol that both the bride and the
groom can depend upon each other and the resources that each brings to the
marriage. It also represents the merger of their lives together into one.
Breaking The Glass
A Jewish tradition that represents the destruction of the temple in
Jerusalem. Many times couples save the pieces of glass from the ceremony in a
symbolic box.
Unity Candle
The unity candle is a symbol of family unity. It is a large single candle
(representing the newly married couple) that is lit by two individual candles,
positioned on either side of the unity candle, each representing the bride's and
groom's families, or it can be construed as each individual candles represent
the bride and groom individually Often, the two single candles are lit prior to
the start of the ceremony by the mothers of both the bride and groom.
Pronouncement of "Man and Wife"
This is the point in time
when the marriage becomes official. It is also at this point that the bride
officially changes her name.
The Kiss
No ceremony is complete without the kiss. In fact, there was a time when
an engagement would be null and void without one. Dating back from early Roman
times, the kiss represented a legal bond that sealed all contracts.
Recessional
The Bride and Groom exit first, followed by the Flower Girl and/or Ring
Bearer, then the Maid or Matron of Honor and the Best Man, the Bride's Maids and
Groomsmen and lastly, by the Minister/Officiant.
Arch Of Swords Following The Ceremony
Walking through the arch of swords following the ceremony was done to
ensure the couple's safe passage into their new life together.
Throwing Rice
When thrown as the couple exited the church, this ritual represented the
wish for the couple to have a fruitful and plentiful life together. Originally
rice and wheat were thrown over the married couple to represent the hope for
fertility. Today, bubbles are generally used as rice and balloons (that burst
when a certain altitude is reached, then fall to the ground) are considered
harmful to birds and wild life and messy to clean up.
Receiving Line
This is a chance for the guests to congratulate and greet the newly
married couple and their parents. You may choose to have the traditional
receiving line or escape for a few private moments as husband and wife. Some
couples move with their bridal party to a private room, where they have a toast
to the bride and groom before joining the other guests. This is also typically a
time for taking photographs with the bridal party and family members.
Signing The Wedding Documents And Guest Book
Signing the marriage certificate/documents is the public recording of the
marriage. The guest book is a record of all the people who witnessed the
wedding. For that reason, the guest book is signed following the official
wedding ceremony.
Reception, Food, and Wine
The reception is the official celebration of the new couple's marriage.
The wedding cake represents the sharing of the bride and groom's body to become
one. The drinking of wine symbolizes the sharing of the bride's and groom's life
together with God.
Wedding Favors
Wedding favors are mementos of the special occasion given to each wedding
guest to thank them for sharing the momentous occasion with the bride and groom.
Tossing The Bridal Bouquet
Tossing the bridal bouquet is a custom which has its roots in England. It
was believed that the bride could pass along good fortune to others. In order to
obtain this fortune, spectators would try to tear away pieces of the bride's
clothing and flowers. In an attempt to get away, the bride would toss her
bouquet into the crowd. Tradition says that the single woman who catches the
bouquet is the one who received the bride's good fortune and will marry next.
Throwing The Garter Belt
This ritual dates back to a time when women wore hose with a garter belt.
It was a chance for the single men to share in the good fortune of the groom.
Today, it is believed that the man who catches the garter when it is thrown will
be the next to marry.
The Grand Exit After The Reception
Traditionally, old shoes were tied to the back of the car to represent
the transfer of property from the father of the bride to the groom. Horn
honking, along with tying of empty cans, the shooting off of firecrackers
and ringing of bells were a means to protect the bride by warding off evil
spirits,
The Honeymoon
This was a chance for the new couple to hide from family and friends for
a period of time.
Shivare
This custom dates back to the Middle Ages. A group of friends would
gather and bang on pots and pans, shoot off guns, etc. to disturb the newlywed
couple on their wedding night.
Carrying The Bride Over The Threshold
This was done to protect the bride from evil spirits which may be hiding
beneath the threshold. The groom would carry his beautiful bride to safety and
happiness so they could start their new lives together.
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